A simple solution to America's political divide

Perhaps there is no child’s nursery rhyme more untrue than the following one I first heard long ago: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me.”

Once you call someone a “Demon Democrat” or a “Nazi Republican” … all hopes for any meaningful communication and mutual understanding have flown the coop between you and to whoever you are referring.

Give me ten of the most radical right-wing conservatives in this country.

Then give me ten of the most radical left-wing liberals.

Put them all in a room together and lock the door.

Oh, and please leave me in there with them.

What some might call a miracle will eventually happen.

How do I know?

I personally saw it happen … with MUCH MORE RADICALIZED groups of people than Democrats and Republicans.

I taught at the Bristol Jail two nights a week for nearly a quarter of a century.

Into the tiny jail library, I brought them all out together with me; members of the most violent gangs in our society; the Crips, the Bloods, the MS-13s, and the Aryans.

Before entering the arena (uh, I mean “library”), we all promised to go by one rule:

Each and every time we spoke to someone in that room, we promised to call them a name. That name was “brother”.

Every.

Single.

Time.

By constantly and always addressing one another as “brother”, we naturally and sincerely began to notice things about each other that we held in common.

Yes, it took time for meaningful communication to develop. But not as long as many might think. The word “brother” proved to be no less than miraculous.

Terrible violence could have resulted from putting people who actually hate each other into such a tightly enclosed space. Indeed, physcial violence nearly erupted. Several times. I was vigilant in constantly reminding us all of the promise we made.

But once we began to discover how our basic needs and wants were all so very much alike - we could honestly feel the hate, the fear, the mistrust, and the anger ... all begin to melt away.

Don't say it can't be done.

I have seen it happen. Personally. Firsthand. I have seen how nearly impossible it is to look another person in the face and call him “brother”, and not be led to look at him in a very different light.

Anyone can name-call. Anyone can condemn. Anyone can find fault.

"No ma'am,” once said John McCain to a lady, in reference to Barrack Obama. “He's a decent family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues, and that's what this campaign is all about.” McCain said this in reference to a lady who had just referred to Obama by a very derogatory name. After this stand of courage by McCain, the entire audience loudly applauded. (As do we all, when such true courage is shown.)

If we truly want a less divisive America … then all derogatory name-calling must stop. Especially on social media, where name-calling has become the grandstand for America’s increasingly volatile war of MAD (mutually assured destruction).

I challenge us all to show some real courage. If you’re going to name-call, begin using the word “brother” or “sister” when referring to another - no matter how different from your own views the politics of that “brother or sister” may appear to be.

Yes, it takes a great amount of courage to do such a thing as what my inmate/students did - to call one another “brother”, no matter how great our perceived differences.

But.

They did it.

And it worked.

If they can do it, so can we.

It is a very simple solution. No, it’s not an easy one. As with most worthwhile things we seek to do in life, it takes a lot of effort, persistence, and courage to achieve.

While I’m typing this week’s edition of this newletter/column, I am also occasionally glancing at Facebook to see what my friends are saying in regards to the current political climate.

Indeed, many are saying a lot. Yet, I cannot help but notice that it is mostly name-calling, and very little of it actual political discussion.

Now keep in mind as you read the following; these are otherwise very good people. Every bit as good as you or me. They are our fellow Americans. In basic reality, if we can see it, they are our brothers and sisters.

One highly successful Bristol businesswoman just posted, “MAGA supporters are nothing but fascist Nazis. Pure evil. If they want a war, we will give them one!”

A beloved local male pastor posted, “Demon-crats have become the children of the devil. We must rid the republic of them and show no mercy. To do so is to be righteous.”

Wow. Just. Wow.

There has to be a better way. All of us must instinctively know that. But way too many of us live in news media echo chambers that repeatedly spew massive doses of deeply divisive poison toward us daily.

Too many of us refuse to venture outside our tiny and very limited frame of reference. When lies are told to us enough times, again and again (especially when told with a mix of raw emotion and rabid patriotism), they can become the truth to us. Such is the way of lies.

Yet the truth is ultimately more powerful than any lie. If we can just teach ourselves how to find it. In a word, we all need to better communicate with one another. It is a wonderfully good thing to have purely political discussions and disagreements. Such free speech is the basis of our democracy. But when honest communication stops, and name-calling boils over, there can be no good end - much to the detriment of everyone in America.

I also realize the fact that the very simplicity of what I’m proposing as a solution to help narrow America’s radicalized political divide is also a reason that so many won’t even try it. We can often let the simplicity of good things get in the way of our believing they could be true (such as the widely-repeated, but never-truly-lived-out proclamation, “Love one another”).

The power of words is virtually almighty. I have seen it in action - with the most diverse and radicalized hate groups you could possibly imagine (even more so than our current political situation - which is “pretty doggone radicalized”, to put it mildly).

Instead of spouting hateful names toward those who hold different political views than us, and therefore becoming part of the problem, we could instead become part of the solution and call them our brother and our sister, and make every unceasingly honest effort to find out what we have in common. Our beloved and unique-in-all-the world American republic literally depends on enough of us having the courage to do so.

No, not everyone who reads these words has that type of courage.

But I believe that enough of us do.