Changing our bad addictions into good ones

We all know people who are '“addicted” to some type of drug or alcohol.

Many who read these words will, on a very personal level, understand such types of addictions.

But there are other “bad” addictions we may have, as well. Many of these we may not even be aware of (or be afraid to face).

Back when I was a teenager, a lady at church began ranting and railing about how “stupid” it was for anyone to become addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Then she began to cast out a few names. “You know, I’ve heard,” she said, “that so-and-so is on the stuff at night, away from church. And so-and-so pops pills whenever she can. Addicts are all around us. When we know who they are, we should all stay clear of such people.”

My mother interrupted this dear lady to remind her that she was also addicted to something.

“And what, praytell, might that possibly be?” the lady asked my mother.

To which my mother replied, “You are a gossip addict. You are quick and eager to pass on any bad information about anyone under the sun. Drugs and alcohol may hurt the body, but none of them will destroy the soul like gossip does.”

The lady was open-mouthed, but speechless, so my mother continued on.

“You need to put a string around your finger. Every time you find yourself ready to say something bad about somebody, that string will remind you to say something good about them, instead.”

My mother sure could “tell it like it is”.

Yes, we all have our addicitions. Some are good. Some are bad. The thing is: so many of us absolutely refuse to face our "bad" ones.

Yesterday I was the keynote speaker at an event in Bristol. Brothers in Christ Community Response is a local nonprofit founded and headed up by my friend, the Rev. Steve Davis.

This nonprofit seeks to give local housing and guidance to addicts in recovery. Indeed, those served are certainly the more “generally thought of” type of addicts - the ones hooked on drugs and/or alcohol.

I first met Big Steve (as I call him) when he was in inmate at the Bristol Jail, many years ago.

At the Jail, I began to have an unusually high number of new students come to my class (which I taught two evenings a week in the jail library).

When I asked why, the new students answered almost word for word, “Big Steve came and told me I had to go. I didn’t want to tell that guy no. He’s pretty tough.”

Yes, I had an amiable heart to heart talk with Big Steve regarding his methods for “bringing in the sheaves” to me.

These days I am honored to say that Big Steve now uses the power of kind words as his main method of persuasion, not physical intimidation. Big Steve is a dedicated full-time professional addiction counselor and church minister here in Bristol.

It seems the best among us can (and often do) get hooked on drugs or alcohol.

Such physical addictions don’t seem to follow any particular socio-economic group, race, or religion. If you are human, you can become addicted to such things.

Never say, “But I have the willpower to overcome addiction.”

Don’t kid yourself. If you are in enough pain, you will seek to relieve it. If you don’t believe me, then you haven’t yet experienced enough pain in this life.

Trust me. I’ve been there. As so many of us have.

Many of us, indeed, seem to have “addictive” personalities (meaning we are more “prone” to succumb to addictive behaviors). I count myself among them.

Having taught nearly two thousand jail inmates (most of whom qualifed as “addicts”), here is the most important thing I’ve learned about addiction; everyone has at least a few "bad" addictions.

Few people may want to hear those words at first. But they ring true, nonetheless.

However, there is Good News - we can learn how to exchange (or trade) our “bad” addictions in for “good” ones.

Simply put, we can exchange our “bad” addictions in for “good” ones.

As long as my life is filled with helping my fellow man, woman, child, and creatures with whom I share this world, I have found that my most “harmful” addictions do not so easily rear their ugly heads to entice me.

Serving others serves as “the string around my finger” for me.

I am hopeful that my sharing this particular approach might help the reader with whatever harmful addictions one may be having. (That is, if one is not afraid to own up to one’s own “bad” addictions in the first place.)

I have personally found this “string around my finger” method to be the Way, the Truth, and the Light regarding how to overcome most any harmful addiction under the sun.

No, you can't see the string wrapped around my own finger. But it is there. Indeed, I am mindful (and forever grateful) that is is always there.