We all do it. We judge people by how they look.
And the truth is, most of us can usually gather a lot of valuable information by doing precisely that … “sizing someone up” by their physical appearance.
For example … before you read any further (nope, no peeking ahead allowed) try to surmise this man’s personality and lifestyle. Go ahead. Make your most honest and intelligent guess. Then … go ahead and read the next paragraph.
“Likes to drink and party - and can hold his own with the best of ‘em. Likes heavy metal music and even plays a guitar. Dislikes following rules. Likes keeping his house and yard cluttered. Been in jail a time or two or three. Full of rebellious mischief (yep, that grin gives it away). Not highly formally educated. Street smart. Pretty good in a street fight, but would rather resort to humor if possible (again, that grin). Honest, yet full of practical jokes. Hard working - at least when at what he wants to do. Loud and rowdy - particularly when partying. Loves his family and close friends dearly, more even than himself. Tougher than nails, but tender-hearted toward all children and animals. The funniest, most mischievous, most down-home guy in the room.”
If you judged everything stated within that last paragraph as being true about this man, my friends, then you judged pretty well. This man was all of those things.
You see, Scotty Shaffer was a student of mine at the Bristol Jail sometime back in the ‘90s. He earned his GED (high school equivalency diploma) while under my tutelage. As I did with many of the men I taught down at the Crossbar Hotel, I helped Scotty gain meaningful employment upon his release.
A few years back, Scotty died.
I didn’t know about it at the time, so I did not get to say any words to at his funeral to celebrate his life, as I would have liked. So I will say them here.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”
I saw Scotty forgive people of some pretty bad things that were done to him. I won’t go into detail here, just out of respect. Let it suffice to be stated that many, if not most, of the inmates I taught (and I taught nearly 2,000 over a 25 year period) were chained to horrors of unspeakable happenings suffered during childhood - therefore, their constant anger and rebellion throughout life. Such chains may be invisible, but they are ponderous chains nevertheless.
And nevertheless, Scotty forgave. He forgave everyone. He obviously strived to “cover up his pain” - as best he could - not just with tons of body tattoos, but with a constantly zany sense of wild humor.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
Scotty just was who he was. No pretending. He had no “filter” to his words or deeds.
I once appeared in court for Scotty on the TN side of Bristol. I came to vouch for Scotty earning his GED while my student at the Bristol Jail. Scotty was about to possibly receive a reduction in sentencing from a previous conviction.
The judge began by spouting off some very harsh words about what he felt were Scotty’s moral failures in breaking the law - driving under the influence of alcohol. Finally the judge looked hard at Scotty and asked him if he knew of anything else pertinent to his case that hadn’t been said in court.
Scotty was not dumb. Far from it. In fact, like so many of the inmates I taught, he had become nearly a genius at “reading people”. Scotty knew full well the judge was about to proclaim that Scotty’s full sentence be served, no matter what Scotty might now say to possibly lessen his time spent in jail.
Scotty just couldn’t help himself with what he was about to say next. I saw that twinkle in his eyes, so evident in the pic above - and I knew mischief was sure to follow.
You see, Scotty had seen the judge drinking “like a fish” a few of years back at a bar in Bristol. In fact, Scotty had bellied up to the bar and poured down a few right alongside your honor, chatting happily away (as Scotty always did with anyone).
So Scotty proceeded to announce to the court, more loudly and proudly than your mind can possibly imagine, “Your honor, I know you like to drink good bourbon on the rocks ‘til the cows come home! Say, didn’t you drive yourself home that night we got drunk together in that bar?”
No, Scotty didn’t receive a reduction in sentencing. But I’ll bet the judge had never been “set straighter” by a more honest man.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
While teaching at the Bristol Jail one night, I was witness to Scotty breaking up a fight that he could easily have joined - and likely won. Instead, he used his wonderfully witty sense of humor to put everyone at ease. The fighting immediately ceased. Instead of beating on one another, the men wound up beating the table with their fists and - instead of busting each others guts - they nearly busted their own, they were laughing so hard.
We can never judge a book by its cover. Far less, a human life.
Scotty eventually confided in me that the best way he had found to hide his pain in this life was “to live behind a mask of constant humor”.
What an absolutely wonderfully miraculous and deeply meaningful “coping mechanism” his method proved to be.
My friends, when we are each coping with whatever troubles we may be hiding behind our exterior facade, may we all do as well as did Scotty.