Lunch with an F-16 Fighter Pilot (a Christmas story)

Hey, Ben, since it’s Christmastime, why not write about something else?

As you will soon discover, my friends, no words I write could be “more about the true meaning of Christmas” than this particular edition.

Mark Hickie and I first met a little over a month ago.

Little did I know that our meeting would prove to be one of those rare days when my basic view of life would be bolstered in such a meaningful way.

Not only had I not yet met Mark, but I had yet to meet Mark’s dear mother, Kathy, who (like me) was a dedicated lifetime Bristol teacher (now retired, also like me).

Sometime this past summer I received an email from Kathy regarding that Mark would be coming to Bristol in early November for a hometown visit and that they’d like to meet me downntown for lunch. (They are both subscribers to Hometown Stories and simply wanted to meet the writer, yours truly, in person.)

So I gratefully and joyfully accepted their very kind invitation.

Little did I know how much our meeting would change my life for the better - and eventually … possibly even the lives of the readers of my words here as well.

So what would you, my friends, expect an F-16 fighter pilot’s personality to be like?

We all do stereotypes, whether we admit it - or are even aware of it - or not. Yes, all of us. It’s simply part of being human (which actually makes it not necessarily a bad thing - as long as we are open to change).

Whatever it was that I expected an F-16 fighter pilot to "be like, the following is what I got:

The very first thing I noticed about Mark was how “gracious and humble” a man he was.

I am a believer that you can tell a lot about a person simply by watching them interact with a server at a restaurant. I immediately noticed that Mark’s entire tone of voice and facial gestures toward our young lady waitress were as kind and softhearted as if she had been his own daughter. (No stern commands nor air of supposed superiority from this former Air Force officer - not even a sniff.)

Then I found out something else - Mark is like that with everyone. He treated me with the same deep compassion and sincere empathy as he had our waitress. I’m talkin’ about for the entirety of our hour and a half we spent together with his mother.

I also noticed how he so politely and willingly “deferred” to his mother whenever he sensed that she was ready to speak - even if he was in the middle of a sentence. I could tell this was part of a learned “sense of duty”, yes, like that of any good military officer. But it was more, much more, than that. I could tell that this “way of compassion and empathy” were a Way of Life for him.

There was no boasting from Mark. No “building himself up”. I practically had to “pull it out of him” to get him to tell me more about himself. Mark appeared perfectly content with listening to his mother and I talk about teaching for the first twenty minutes of our time together. Kathy and I could easily have talked about teaching the entire time and been perfectly happy. (If you ever bring two career teachers together to eat lunch with you, you’ll know exactly what I mean.)

Mark Hickie graduated from Bristol TN High School. Then he graduated from the Air Force Academy. Might want to read that last sentence again. To put it lightly, you have to be immensely smart and mightily committed to a life of serving America to ever attain such a thing.

Mark met his future wife, Elia, at the Academy. This brave, good lady eventually became a fighter pilot too. They both served active military tours of duty together, as well. (Imagine their conversations at the end of a “normal” work day.)

Before Mark retired he worked at the Pentagon, where at least part of his assignment (as I understand it) was using the incomparable aerial intelligence of our Air Force to aid Ukraine in their valiant struggle to combat invading Russia.

Mark and his wife have now both retired from the Air Force and are traveling around the world as a family, homeschooling their three children (ages 12, 11, and 9) while visiting and immersing themselves in different cultures along the way. (Wow! Can you imagine the unique and priceless “real-life” education their children are experiencing daily?)

Since our initial meeting, Mark and I have stayed in touch. I feel a sincere friendship has been made (indeed, with his dear mother, as well). Just a couple of nights ago he emailed me from hot and humid Singapore, literally from the other side of the world.

What has perhaps struck me most profoundly about Mark was how animated and energized I saw him become when telling me about what he and his family have directly experienced and learned while on their world travels; that there are so many “common traits shared by all humanity, regardless of differences in culture”.

This very gracious and highly intelligent new friend of mine wanted to talk, not so much about war, but about “peace on Earth”.

I have since given it all much thought. What better way to honor the original Christmas message - the Good News to all mankind that was first sung by angels long ago - than to diligently seek out ways to unite us all, no matter how different some of us may appear to be.

Mark and his family are proof that it can be done.

If we would only open our hearts and our minds,

maybe each one of us can still hear …

the angels sing,

“Peace on Earth,

goodwill toward men.”