Recipe for an unhappy life

During my sixty-six circuits around the sun, I have come to notice that there are at least four things in particular that unhappy people do particularly well. It even seems to me they do these things so often and so well that they might qualify as a bonafide “recipe” for being unhappy.

(The thing is, we are all prone to consume this recipe at times in our lives. Some of us, thankfully, consume it only now and then. Some of us, unfortunately, have come to consume it as a way of life.)

1 - Hang around negative people:

When I taught school, the great majority of the time I had wonderful teachers with whom I worked. But sometimes I did not. I am unalterably convinced that some were among the most negative people who God ever allowed to walk upon this earth. With such colleagues I literally dreaded lunchtime, a time when I was forced to endure thirty minutes of endless derogatory comments about our students, their parents, our school, education in general, and the price of eggs in China; everything and everyone was fair game for their constant derison.

Finally, I’d had enough. I quit sitting with my colleagues and began eating at a small desk with my students instead. Yes, I then became the primary object of constant derision among those teachers. But I now looked forward to a lunchtime with people I loved and who loved me - my students. P. S. - My lunch tasted much better, too.

2 - Always look for the bad.

There are many things miraculous about the human mind and spirit, no doubt, but one of the greatest is our ability to “get what we look for” out of life. I profoundly experienced the power of this tenet when I began making home visits as a teacher. I resolved to only say “good and positive” things about students during such visits.

But what about Bad Boy Billy? Wait … I mean Bad-to-the Bone Bad Boy Billy. Well, I looked for the good in such children and told the parents about it during my (always brief) home visits. Often I left a home visit with a parent saying something like the following to me, “We ain’t never had nobody from a school come to our home and brag on our boy. Never. We only ever heard that he’s been bad. We ain’t never heard anything good about him before. Thank you.” More than once, I saw tears of joy in these parents’ eyes.

And even better than that - how do you think BBBB Billy gradually (and I must say gradually - because life’s finest miracles always take time) began to behave in my class from then on?

(I’ll give you three guesses. And the first two don’t count.)

That’s exactly right. He began to behave much better when he was in the presence of someone he knew was constantly looking for the good in him.

3 - Never get involved.