To Live By

It was a New Year’s Eve many years ago. I thought about what I’d like to do, not just during the coming year, but with the rest of my life.

I thought about how most resolutions are doomed to be broken, so I wanted to “simplify” mine. Make them into “a way of life”, so to speak.

I had too often attempted a “bucket list” type of resolutions. Things to be checked off. But not things I had continuously strived to live by.

So I wrote down the following . . . and have strived to live by each of them every day, ever since. Each and all can be done by virtually anyone . . . and nary a one costs as much as a dime.

Live simply.

Give hope and warmth as you go.

Treat every soul as your own.

Live humbly.

Laugh a lot.

Write and visit often.

Treat both poor and rich the same - both need love.

Fight ignorance not with darkness, but with light.

Marvel at the stars.

Play with children.

Hold grudges against no one.

Think deeply.

Walk daily in the fields and woods.

Stay learned and well-read.

Above all, be compassionate and forgiving.

I hope others might consider striving to “live by” some of these maxims along with me. The reader may pick and choose as you wish. Or totally create your own.

In fact, totally creating your own might be a great idea. And what better time than right now?

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Live simply.

This one I have done fairly well, I suppose. I don’t desire a lot in the way of materials things. And I seem to be happier with having less and less in the way of “things” as time goes on. But I can always get better at it.

Give hope and warmth as you go.

This one maxim has eased my occasionally recurring depression more than all the manmade medicine I’ve ever tried in this world. When depressed, no one “feels like” giving hope and warmth. But when I “make myself” go out and strive to give hope and warmth to others, I ultimately break free of depression’s icy cold hold.

Treat every soul as your own.

This has helped me - so very, very much - all throughout my teaching career. Particularly when teaching jail inmates, I found that one can sometimes lose hope and faith in one’s fellow man or woman. At such a time I strive to remind myself that each of my fellow beings has a soul, equal in worth to my own. And since I refuse to give up on myself, neither will I give up on anyone else - however misguided any fellow soul in this existence may presently be.

Live humbly.

I have a pet peeve about arrogance. I don’t like it in others. I don’t like it in myself, either. Although, Lordamighty, it is often so hard to “see” our own arrogance. But I do try hard to live humbly. Very hard. I’m just not there yet. It seems my writing may even appear to be a “humble brag”, especially at those times when I am trying to inspire others to do certain things. I don’t mean it that way, but sometimes when I read it - there it is. However, it is often worth the risk to me in the interest of promoting a universally peaceable idea. I realize I may never be as humble as I want to be. But that won’t stop me from seeking.

Laugh a lot.

All the children I ever taught will vouch for me on this one. It’s hard for me to go long without “stirring up some fun” of some kind. I love laughter (the full belly kind). Good for the heart. Good for the soul.

Write and visit often.

I do well on the first. I write a minimum of three letters (not just on Facebook, or by text - but a real “snail mail” letter) every day. But I’ve slacked on visiting. I’m going to have to pick up again. I enjoy visiting so very much. Old friends. Family. Former students. Each and all. And I never stay long - which is a big key toward getting invited back.

Treat both poor and rich the same - both need love.

I’m honored to have friends who are millionaires and friends who are homeless. I do love them all. I respect them all. Just for who they are as human beings. Not for what material things they may or may not have. Indeed, I have found that millionaires are good people, too, and often are not driven solely by “things” - at least the ones I know - for the most part. And, oh, how I do love sitting up nights beneath a bridge with my homeless friends. Especially when I go dressed as Santa.

Fight ignorance not with darkness, but with light.

I am a believer. All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the tiniest light. And the Light is within us all. If only we would realize it.

Marvel at the stars.

Most night, more often than not - the good Lord willin’ and the clouds be behavin’ - I go outside and gaze upward toward the stars. I often cannot cast my eyes upward long before an overwhelming aura of humility and gratitude envelopes my soul. It is not at all uncommon for me to feel literally “at one” with the entire universe at such times.

Play with children.

Gosh, I miss this one. So very much. When I taught school, I basically “played” the day away with children. Yes, they learned. We all did. A lot. Engaging in a “constant sense of play” with young children may be the greatest teaching method ever devised. Watch most any grandparent play with their grandchildren … and you will also become a believer.

Hold grudges against no one.

I can honestly say this is one of the few things I feel I am actually “kinda good at” in life. My father gave me the most remarkable advice I have possibly ever heard when I was about fourteen. He said, “Benny, if you want to live a peaceable life, then go ahead and forgive everybody who is ever gonna do you wrong. Do it right now. Forgive ‘em all in your heart. You don’t even know who most of ‘em are yet, but still forgive ‘em. Even way before they do you wrong.”

Now think about the power in that statement, my friends. Most people say forgive, “after the fact”. But Dad said to forgive everyone of everything ahead of time. Before we ever even meet the people who are going to do us wrong. Priceless.

Think deeply.

Some of my friends may say I think too much. However, I don’t think one can do that - generally speaking. (Of course there are always exceptions to every broad rule.) I cherish thinking deeply. I mean. Really. Deeply. Especially when out beneath those stars at night.

Walk daily in the fields and woods.

I’m blessed to be able to still do this. I take a hike most days. Sometimes a long trek. Sometimes a brief stroll. I go in the snow (joyfully). I go in the rain (with equal zeal). I just go. The endorphins are my Prozac. Nature is my counselor.

Stay learned and well-read.

Big slacker I am here. I do read a lot of messages and posts from my friends on Facebook - and that can be a good thing - but it is not the same as “old timey style reading”. I dearly love to read (the inner workings of quantum physics and new discoveries in cosmology and/or anthropology are two of my favorite topics). But I don’t read daily nearly as reliably as I once did. It seems I’m now doing more “important” things.

(Excuses. Excuses. I just made such a big one that I feel I should go find a mirror and bow to myself. Ha!)

Above all, be compassionate and forgiving.

I feel I am “fairly good” at this one. But as in so many of the “to live by” goals I’ve listed here, I realize I can always get better. Backsliding does occur. Backsliding will occur. We are human. Therefore, we must be forever mindful of matching our actions with our beliefs. Thankfully, there are no limits as to how compassionate and forgiving we may each become. Heck, I suspect even the good Lord may find new ways now and then.