Why the best dads never die

(Father's Day 2026)

Dad was “country smart”, the kind of smarts the world could use a bit more of right now. He could scarcely read a newspaper (I suspect an unidentified reading disability) … but he could “fix anything that broke” around the house … and between his ears he contained the wisdom of the hills.

Below is a pic of Dad holding my little sister and yours truly on top of Backbone Rock near Damascus VA. The expression on my face tells the world that I had wanted to go ahead and cross over the top by myself, but Dad wisely held me back. As a result, I am presenting my best attempt at a “mad pout”.

But even a mad pout couldn’t deter Dad. He just loved me anyway, while remaining firm on keeping me from unecessary danger.

The same hands that could each seize a bale of hay and hurl them both up on the back of a truck (yes, both bales at the same time) became gentle as lamb when directed toward his family. Don Talley showed me how to be a “real man” … in every sense of the word. He taught me in the best way most anything is ever taught; by example. Right in front of me. Every day.

So when Dad said to me one day, “I’m gonna live forever, Benny,” I thought he might be talking about heaven.

But Dad went on to say, “I’m gonna live forever, Benny, because I’m gonna live through you. Then on through your children. Then my grandchildren. I don’t even have to still be here. It ain’t ever gonna stop. Unless …”

He knew I’d ask, “Unless what, Dad?”

“Unless you stop lovin’ each other. Love lasts forever. Nothin’ can kill it, unless you quit passin’ it on.”

So, to the best of my ability, I have strived to do so … through my children and my grandchildren.

Just before my first child was born, Dad said to me, “Benny, you know how much you love them young’uns you teach? Just wait ‘til you have your own.”

Indeed, Dad taught me many things that I didn’t know he was teaching me until later on in life. Sometimes, much later.

By the way, this is not a “hero worship” type article. Dad had plenty of faults. Of course he did. He was human. As the great epic poem, Beowulf, so dramatically shows us, “Great men have great faults.”

But this is neither the time nor the placef or finding faults. It is Father’s Day.

One of the things that Dad taught me was a sense of fun.

I got that part right off. Most everything I do to this day has a strong sense of fun and mischief attached to it. Dad just couldn’t seem to walk across the floor without “stirring up some fun”, as he called it. I feel very safe in saying he lives on in his son very well in that regard.

In fact, I feel my father’s constant presence in me so much that I wrote a book about it. He taught me the Game of Life very well. (He even used my love of the game of golf to help do it.)

But maybe the best thing Dad taught me … something that I didn’t realize until much later … was “a sense of self-sacrifice” for my own children and grandchildren.

Over the course of my own life, I have found myself giving all I could to my own children and grandchildren; time, money, opportunity, and unconditional love. Not less and less, as they’ve grown, but more and more.

Not everyone has money to give. That’s why it is the least important of the four things I just listed that we can give to our children and grandchildren (though sometimes, precisely BECAUSE we love them, we need to help them monetarily as best we can, as well.)

I don’t begrudge any of my giving, either. If my family ever truly needed something from me (no matter what it was), I found a way to give it. And I think they will vouch for me that I always gave with an “open heart”. I never “kept score” of what they owed me. I just gave, the best I could.

Yes, money comes in mighty handy in this world, we all know that. But when we give our children our time, our ears, our attention, our emotional support, and our unconditional love …. then we are making them rich beyond their wildest dreams, regardless of the size of our bank account. Indeed, these are all things that every parent/grandparent can give their children, if they will.

Looking back, I was not immediately as appreciative as I should have been regarding what a great father (and mother) I had as a child. Like endless generations of humanity before me, I “just didn’t know” … not until time did it’s dance on me.

No, we shouldn’t expect our children/grandchildren to always appear to be immediately grateful for our sacrifices. The truth is often quite to the contrary.

And that’s all okay and fine.

It’s okay and fine because that is the way of things.

Full understanding, appreciation, and gratitude will all come later … when our children and grandchildren have a chance to pass on the time, opportunity, and unconditional love we once gave them.

Like my father before me, even after I’m gone from this world, I will live on ...

in my children and grandchildren.