Words funny and wise

Following are a few of the funny (and often quite profoundly wise) words spoken to me over the years by some elementary students of mine. (For good measure, I threw in some words of a couple of parents and a Bristol Jail inmate/student or two.)

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“Mr. Talley, I’m gonna whomp you up side yore head if you say one mo time my child don’t know how control his temper!”

To which I would like to have replied, “Mrs. Jones, the apple does not fall far from the tree.” But I managed to withhold such words, as I did not want to greatly and immediately multiply my chances of bein’ whomped up side my head.

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“Mr. Talley, I figured out why I like fiction books so much. They tell the truth better than tellin’ the truth does. Kinda like when Jesus made up all those stories that weren’t real to teach us things that were.”

Obviously this was one of the brightest kids ever. No, not a straight A student, but grades don’t always tell it all.

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“Mr. Talley, I want to thank you for playin’ Santa for my kids. You did a great job, because he’d be jolly just like you. And I’ll bet he has a raggedy saggedy old sack just like you.”

Gosh, maybe I should find some way for this Santa to get a new sack by next Christmas. But I’m sure voluntary donors are quite rare.

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“Mr. Talley, I know what type of cloud that is! It ain’t really no cumulonimbus. It’s called an ‘Ah, Hell’ cloud. That’s what my Nana says when she sees one comin’.”

I met this child’s grandmother. Therefore, I believe his statement.

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“Mr. Talley, I love you even if you are old and bald. I know you can’t help any of that stuff.”

Kids will tell you the truth they feel, plain and beautiful.

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“Mr. Talley, why are boys so much more smelly than girls?” Asked by one of the rowdiest tom-boy girls ever.

(I just let that one blow in the wind.)

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“Mr. Talley, you reckon the judge will let me out for my time served if I swear to be good on my grandmother’s grave? I aim to visit there as soon as I get out anyway. It’d be a done deal if you tell him. Can you ask him for me? Tell him I never lied to my grandmother.”

If you’ve ever seen the movie, “O Brother Where Art Thou”, this young man would remind you of Delmar…a bit short on brains, but with plenty of heart.

(No, the judge couldn't let him out on just a promise, of course. But I do know the young man did go visit his grandmother's grave when he got out...because I went with him. And as far as I know, he has kept his promise.)

Which reminds me; I once got permission to show the movie at the Bristol Jail to my student-inmates. About halfway through the film, one man stood up and pointed toward another, while shouting out, “Cecil, you are just like Delmar!”

There was a long awkward silence - during which time I held my breath - before I heard these words from Cecil (who had by now also stood up), “Hey! Ain’t Delmar the dumb one?”

I thought a fight would surely break out. The only thing that prevented a jailhouse brawl at that moment was one of the other men standing up, putting his arm around Cecil and saying, “Don’t forget that Delmar is the best soul in the whole movie. We should all be more like Delmar!”